It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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