you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Randomize
