You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hippo gnu deer
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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