Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
