Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
