Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sobbing to NWA
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize