are you still at the devil's house?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize