after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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