Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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