Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
