Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
