and you said cock pushups were impossible
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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