Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
