just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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