she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize