Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
