My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
