If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
