He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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