I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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