What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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