i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is Oprah even human
Dicks are not precious.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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