i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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