doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
This toilet bowl is my home.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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