OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
