What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
