So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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