allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
one might say we're banned from that church
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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