it was like eating out sand paper
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize