well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
