discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So apparently I’m into choking now
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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