She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
