you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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