I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
