What did we do last night that was yellow?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
