walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I have post one night stand depression
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