i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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