i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
