I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
