I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
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If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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