Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
