she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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