it hurts more in the daytime
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
