I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
