Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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