I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
