I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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