my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
