I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This is classic penis vs brain.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
