i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
