Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
