when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
