How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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