idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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