somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize