you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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